5 Ways How NOT to Flirt on Online Dating Sites
Don’t be that guy. You know, the one who made us quit Tinder. The one who gives us the creeps before we’ve even checked out your profile. For your best chance of success with meeting Canadian singles while online dating, keep away from these top 5 flirting no-no’s.
1. Jumping in Too Quickly
Even if you’re only looking for a casual hook up, starting your conversation with “Want to come over?” is not going to get you very far. Even on Tinder like websites which are known for casual dating, choosing to start a chat with something sexually explicit is a huge gamble. Take the time to message back and forth a while. Ask a few questions about her, and tell her some interesting facts about yourself too. If you’re on a casual dating website, her profile might help you figure out what she wants from the site. If it’s something casual as well, after a bit of conversation you can ask something more subtle like “What are you up to tonight?” This may be more successful than commenting on the status of your genitals before you’ve even said hello.
2. Two Word Greetings
Chances are that dozens of guys are getting in touch with your online crush every single day, with 14.2 million single Canadians out there, and new members joining online dating sites like Zoosk every single second the world over. You’ll need to make a bit of an effort to get a response. Many guys think just saying “Hi” or “Hello there” is all they need to do to get the attention they want, but it takes a little more than that. Take a look at her profile and find something she’s interested in. Ask a question about it, or share a story of your own which shows you have common ground. Find an interesting fact which you want to share, or even a joke. The key here is standing out from the crowd.
3. Bad Grammar
There are two massive turn offs here. The first one is pure bad grammar and spelling mistakes. There’s nothing worse than a two word introduction, except for if the two words are “Your hot.” Ouch. If you know you’re terrible at spelling, try drafting your message in a word processing document and using spell check, or asking a friend to look it over for you before you hit send. The other massive faux pas when it comes to messaging with online dating sites is what’s known as SMS speak. “Hi, How r u? u luk gr8!” We’re not on Twitter gentlemen, we can afford to use an extra few characters. It just looks lazy, kinda like you can’t be bothered with writing a complete sentence. If you’re insecure about your writing skills, be brave and let her know. Perhaps English isn’t your first language or you’re dyslexic. Most women will find the honesty attractive and be more understanding.
4. Creepy Flirt
We all look through the online dating photos before we send a first message, and it’s obvious that you’re going to look for some physical attraction before you reach out with a flirty message. But try to avoid messages which come off as… well, creepy. “I love how that dress hugs your curves” is not something you want to hear before you know someone’s last name, and the same with any specific compliment about a sexual part of the body. Steer away from saying that her legs/lips/hips are sexy for the time being, as well as any pet names off the bat (“Hey beautiful lady” etc) and concentrate on asking questions about her interests and lifestyle instead. If you must compliment her appearance, go for something broader and try to be sincere. “I think you’re really beautiful” or “you have lovely eyes” is hard to get wrong.
5. The Monologue
The girl of your dreams doesn’t need to hear everything about you in the first conversation you have. It can be easy to get swept up when you feel like someone is easy to talk to, but make the effort to ask about her and give short to the point answers, like you would if you were having a face to face conversation. Remember that you have less social cues than offline chat, so by asking her questions and making her talk back, it can be easier to see if she is having a good time and enjoying the conversation, feeling a similar vibe to you. If you’re struggling with keeping the flow of instant messenger, and you’re on a site like match.com which supports it, ask her if she would like to move to audio or video chat over webcam.